Making marks on paper to investigate the "lone wolf" within.

Being hyper-independent can be a trauma response.

When the day has been rough, and I choose to go home alone, spend my time by myself and switch off connection to the outside, I ask inwardly how are you?

Exhausted younger part: I am fine, I don't need anyone.

When I ask for a little more information, carefully reassuring this part that it can share more with me, I find that it may be saying:

I really need someone to sit next to me and not try to change me or the situation.

I tell this part, okay, lets do that now. I will sit next to you and not try to change you or the situation.

I can already feel it responding with a sigh, my belly begins to relax and shoulders drop down ever so slightly.

The part then says with a soft voice:

But I wanted it from someone else.

So I answer:

I know, but that was a long time ago, and they weren't able, now I'm here.

The part answers:

Thank you. Maybe at some point other people can do this for me too.

I smile and a little later that day, I ask a friend for a hug (without explaining any of this), it feels like icing on the cake. Now I have received care from myself, and the other person.